At the present moment in Purcell, Oklahoma, we are trying very hand to leave July 2013 better than how we began it. This is proving to be difficult considering our area just got split, and the sisters took the majority of the members. Fortunately, our baptism is such a blessing for the month of July that maybe we will have left it better already! I am one-third through this transfer. Cameron told me just before I left that the first three months feel like a year and the last year feels like three months. All the missionaries out here tell me it goes by super fast. Being out for only two and a half months is already making that fact known to me. The days go by so incredibly fast... I can't believe it's already P-day... I can't believe July is almost over. I think about my friends in the MTC at the moment--probably a little more than I should--and it's strange to think some of them are out into the field already. All seems to be well with Sister Berrett. She's got a great companion and an amazing MTC experience under her belt. I heard from Elder Phillips today, and he's in the MTC until August. I'm excited to hear how things are going for him. So Melissa's getting married... TOTALLY called that one. I'm sad I have to miss it, but I'm very happy for her! I'll be anxious to get to know Ty a little bit better when I come home. I only hung out with him a couple times, so I didn't really get to know him before I left. Are the youth in our ward gonna write the missionaries for a mutual activity anytime soon?! We did that a few times while I was there... If I get one from the ward I'll definitely respond!
I will try to give a condensed version of what's going on with our companionship: Currently things have mulled over. President Walkenhorst challenged me to take a bullet for Elder Evans and make him look good every chance I had. Taking a bullet for Elder Evans and making him look good every chance I have is a lot harder than one would expect. Currently I'm trying to uncover the line dividing sincerity and sounding fake. I want to actually compliment him on something, and not just because the president told me to. I'm want to be sincere instead of sounding like I'm just trying to fulfill a job. I want to compliment him on something meaningful instead of telling him that he did a good job of putting his clothes on today. So I guess I'm trying to find meaningful praises instead of just simple things to say. When we had companionship inventory the other day, I was at a loss as to what I should say to him--I mainly thought about all the things he'd done to me throughout the past week. This past week hasn't been any better than previous weeks... When the conversation gives from being civil to yelling and condemnation I immediately and without hesitation move to the other room. Yes, the yelling has continued. One night I went into my closet to get ready for bed, and he slammed the door and sat in front of it and locked me in there... He then called the Zone Leaders and told them he had locked me in the closet. That probably wasn't the most wise thing he'd said to them. He was rebuked quite heavily. He immediately let me out!
At this point, the Zone Leaders have been called more times than I can count with my two hands. Every single call has been from Elder Evans. Calling them has turned somewhat into a dramatic act to cajole me into doing something. The Zone Leaders even agree. On Thursday, we had a disagreement about something. He called the Zone Leaders and asked for an emergency exchange, which lasted for part of Thursday, Friday, and part of Saturday. I was with Elder Ravsten during the exchange. The difference in our work is so incredibly visible. Working with Elder Ravsten yielded so many more results! We got baptismal dates set, more potential investigators, more meaningful lessons, and much more fun together as a companionship. We both got to know a little bit more about each other. I really got to see him as a friend and not just some guy that's responsible for me. He even knew where I was coming from. He's siding with me—yet he's still trying to help out Elder Evans and being loving towards him.
We came to the core root of the why he's feeling the way he does. Now I want you to hear this, because this is something you've told me about other people: We both came to the conclusion that he is insecure. He was raised in a home where he claims that his siblings "walked all over him." As true as this might be, he compares me to his family, saying I walk all over him... He came out here because he wanted to get away from his family for doing those things. He believes I'm doing the same thing his family is doing. Now do you think I conspired with his family and the elders of the mission to walk all over him? No. I have much better things to do than that. The solution? Me trying to find ways to make him feel good and loved. Him recognizing that people are not out to walk all over him. Elder Ravsten and I both think he needs a confidence boost. So right now I am working on trusting him again and looking for ways to be loving towards him.
Okay, that wasn't really a condensed version... ha. But it is what it is. Let's move on to investigators since I haven't said much about them lately. So we have Derrel (65), Terry (40 and a female), Tucker (19), Jay (53), and Vanny (old). Derrel, Terry, and Tucker live under one roof. Tucker is Terry's son, and Terry is the housekeeper of Derrel. Fortunately there isn't a chastity problem between Derrel and Terry (with a 25 years' difference? NASTY NAST!) Terry, unfortunately, is the town ruffian... She's a troublemaker and a rabble rouser. We've been teaching Derrel and Terry for about a month now. Terry has gone downhill...she still smokes and cusses everyone out. Her son moved in just recently, and we began teaching him. There's an abusive relationship between mother and son... Not just that, but we recently found out that Derrel will more than likely be moving to Watonga to get away from her. He can't even get her out of his own house, and neither can the police. That's how bad it is. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is just love them and continue offering the gospel... Derrel was supposed to be baptized in a couple weekends, but that's looking pretty bleak. We may be dropping Terry and Tucker pretty soon as well. Just pray that their situation will get better. We've had to be very cautious when visiting them. Terry's a time-bomb about ready to go off.... Someone's going to be killed--her or someone else.
Fortunately, Jay (who happens to be best friends with a member - The Gowens Family!) came to church for the first time ever!! We had a wonderful gospel conversation with him on Thursday when I was with Elder Ravsten. We'll be teaching him the first discussion shortly. Pray that he will feel the love and support from Bro. Gowens, us, and the people of the LDS church! Now Vanny. She's been a victim of Terry's tirades... She actually told us everything about Terry, and then it was made known to us by her actions shortly thereafter. She's had a lot of crap thrown at her... Her father raped her, for one. She's struggling with forgiveness, but luckily she loves us!! Some missionaries back in 2011 actually ran over her dog with their bikes on accident, but she was kind to them and they felt really bad!! Funny experience.... Pray that she will want to take the step of baptism and be a part of the church!
We had interviews with President Walkenhorst on Friday. He asked me if I was ready to pull the plug on the companionship. I really had to think about that, but I'm glad to report that I've kept my head up and I'm fine with continuing with our companionship. Couple more things he got me thinking about: what is the vision you see for yourself? How are you going to help Elder Evans feel good about himself? And he then dropped a bomb on me (and the entire mission!) that he wants 100 baptisms in the month of August! Our average is usually 25. Crazy, huh?! We'll make it happen though! Fasting and prayer will happen frequently. Anyway, this letter is long enough, but I'm almost done. We get to go to the OKC temple on the 31st with the entire mission. SO looking forward to that! I'll tell you how that goes! To summarize things: My head is still on my shoulders, and it's up high!
Much love, Elder Garner
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